70% Cacao, 30% Nerd

Another long day, but it was a fun one. Claire is figuring out how to work her hands, and has been bringing toys up to her mouth - and she loves the sound of her voice, sometimes sounding like she's deflating because she'll make a sound and hold it for a really long time, lowering her voice slightly as it tapers off. What a nerd (I think that's a paternal trait! haha) Still mostly smiley and cheerful, even though I can tell her teeth are hurting her.

Mark went ice fishing with his brother and a buddy today, so Claire and I had a girl's day. We even took a few naps together! That's something for the record books. Then I met some friends for dinner, which was a much needed break. That was the first meal in several weeks that I've eaten warm food and have not had Claire in my lap or over my shoulder. The good news is that I'm getting pretty good at maneuvering with her in one arm, and can even prepare almost an entire meal while holding her (I put her down to use the oven or a sharp knife, but get pretty creative with everything else). I've even learned how to open tightly wrapped chocolate with one hand.

This is a new addiction of mine. I never really used to like chocolate - I put up with it in candy bars if there was caramel, peanut butter or nougat inside, but until Claire was born I'd rarely eat a hunk of pure chocolate. And then she arrived. Within the first hour or two of her birth I was served lunch, and I will never forget the chocolate cake that came with it. It was SO GOOD, I think it was the gateway to this terrible addiction I've acquired. I have to eat chocolate every day now. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but my favorite is dark chocolate - and I don't want it muddled with those pesky fillers, caramel, peanut butter or nougat. How things change!

On Wednesday I woke up thinking about this new obsession of mine, and told myself that I could quit if I really wanted to. Before hopping out of bed, I decided that I would go the entire day without a bite of chocolate. So I ate oatmeal for breakfast and put in 5 hours of work before heading out to lunch; on the way I found myself thinking "See? I can totally do it - I've gone the whole morning without chocolate. So now that I know I could go a whole day, I can have just a little when I get home." Umm, doesn't that defeat the purpose of going a whole day? Is this how addicts think? I think I'm officially a chocoholic. In case you were wondering, I abstained from the chocolate fudge pie that Kelly ordered and ate in front of me, but I did have a chunk of dark chocolate when I got home. I am firmly in the grip of this new vice.

I told the girls about it, so what does Kelly turn around and do? She told the waitress at dinner tonight that it's my birthday (next week, actually), and suddenly their famous Death by Chocolate cake was sitting in front of me. I suppose things aren't so bad, because I shared it with everybody at the table...if it were a serious problem I would have scarfed it all down myself. Right? (Denial, isn't that an element of addiction?)